Hi, Susan, David, and Roger—
Thanks, all, for sharing your thoughts on my poem.
Susan—I’m glad you like the revision. The mayfly’s brief “joyful, glorious time” contrasts with the long years as a nymph living in mud, which were unhappy and inglorious. I wanted to suggest the high price paid for the short, glorious turn in the air. “Bright and joyful time” emphasizes the contrast between dark and light that is already implied.
David—I think hedonists can be some of the most driven people. In their quest for pleasure, they often push themselves beyond normal human limits into early graves.
Roger—I’m open to an alternative title, if only to avoid the inevitable comparison to Wilbur’s poem of the same name that Julie mentioned. There are some regional nicknames for this insect, but I think “Canadian Soldiers” would be a very misleading title. Rather than suggesting that all mayflies are female, I am suggesting that all mayflies have two specific characteristics in common with some female fashion models: ostentatious finery and anorexia.
Glenn
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