[Alex Pepple]

Thank you all for the comments.

Max, of the varied subjects, forms, and styles I tend to work in—often beyond the typical—this poem is actually one of the more straightforward in its framework and narrative arc. Like several other poets, I’m not partial to explicating my poems, but if I were to do so as succinctly, then this is a kind of ode to the high cliff diving, that deploys an extended metaphor, which is hopefully not that difficult to deduce. It’s as much an interpretation of the significance and transcendental transformation inherent in event itself as of the performance thereof. As to the suitability of the imagery and metaphors, let’s just take one of the one in your interrogation, “perch” is an apt description for a body, big or small situated on a rock promontory—a bird-like perch, as it might present to observers usually at a lower altitude—and I find the personalization of the horizon that will be all-encompassing in that scenario not unusual. I hope that’s at least some answer to your well-thought critique, which I’m grateful for.

Glenn, thank you for your critique, which actually cracked me up in places for the comedic elements, which I never thought where there, and which you somehow managed to discover in your reading! On your metrical critique, I’d say that when I deploy a poem in tetrameter or less lines, coupled with a challenging rhyming such as that of a terza rima, I usually choose to compromise by loosening up the meter in order to achieve, natural diction and avoid rhyme-driven constructs. Having said that, though, that’s not really the case with this poem: it’s at just about only one metrical substitution (trochee, spondee, anapest) for very few of its lines. What’s more, the substitutions are mostly only in the opening stanza, essentially mirroring the initial takeoff inertia of the event represented. In the second stanza, there’s only one line with such a substitution, and that line (S2L3) is actually the worst of them... OK, maybe, also S3L2, a pentameter line. And after S2 all the way to the end, the poem is metrically pretty much smooth—again, in a sense mirroring the smooth gain of momentum for the event. So, all in all, the only line I believe needs tweaking is S2L3. As for the meaning and significance in your critique, I’d say take a look at my response to Max above.

N. Matheson, I appreciate you’re weighing in on the meter. In reply, see my response to Glenn on the matter… but I’ll review the overall meter carefully once more for any potential tweaks I might have missed.

Yves, thank you for your keen observations and comments on the poem. Per my response to Max, more so than a typical practitioner, even for metrical/formal poetry, I do write poems on variegated forms, or no form, on wide-ranging subject matter… and where the meaning might line up in a straightforward manner like beads on a string, or be dispersed about a tapestry the significance. So, yes, while I write the “who, what, why, where, when, and how” poems you’re looking for, this might not be one of them. As I also tried explaining in my response to Max, the poem might be more about what’s intrinsic in the act being performed than who or what is performing it… and the understanding/significance/transcendence the acts or elements of described is what the poem is attempting to illuminate, using metaphors and extended metaphors, such as baptism, etc. I’ll give you the point that the qualifiers could be reduced, especially in the first stanza, but after that, metaphors and extended metaphors that come up are attempts to probe and elucidate one or more aspects of the transformational nature of what’s being versified. And again, thank you for your opinion and questions which are food for thought indeed.

Jayne, I hear you. When language feels too elevated it can look artificial—even when the poem exhibits natural language, non-stilted throughout; even when there’s no signs of it being rhyme-driven; even when with well-thought out enjambments to mirror the action, such as “gravity’s” that drops onto the next stanza; even when an extended metaphor is smoothly sustained from the beginning to the end of the poem—all of these I wasn’t aware as being part and parcel of the intelligent wonders performed by your ChatGPT known for its stilted poems, it’s rhyme-driven formal poems, its often incoherence, etc. etc. Still, I’ll revisit the diction for a better balance meaning and method.

The very best,
…Alex