[Yves S L]

Hilary,

I was not seriously suggesting "Neurodivergent" as actually the title (the poet can choose their own title and my suggestion is a placehold). The point was that the title is itself part of the craft of writing poetry, and a person ruins their feedback by explaining the poem at length. Just taking time to choose a different title could still have left the poet with adequate feedback of how the actual poem is being interpreted as opposed to how the poem + the textual exposition is being interpreted. For myself, the poem never needed such a lengthy exposition, and a lot of the time it is not even that important that the reader captures every little thing the poet intendend.

Confusion and disorientatieon is part of the effects the poet is trying to achieve.

Changing the title is not even the only way to edit the poem while keeping its flavour; it was just an obvious suggestion, and I do not want to give too many explicit suggestions because I feel it is something Harry needs to manipulate with his own hands.

Harry,

I think the pace and tone is fine for giving the reader an "in world" experience of a different mentality. For pace and tone, consider speaking this poem at a camera while maintaining character. The way I imagine individuals such as the N, they would probably speak it as the same (probably quick and stuttering) rate, not giving the listener any pause. Yeah folk would like it if atypical people's speech patterns, emotional inflections, and attention to social cues was "normal" so they get less tired listening to such individuals, but it is what it is.

Also, I would imagine the person would probably not vary tonal qualities that much, probably tending towards a monotonal lack of inflection.