Hi Alex.
I like steadfast and the em dashes.
I don't think tide is quite there, but perilously close.
Perhaps something along the lines of
For looking back would summon a drowning tide.
(? Though with one less syllable!)
And have S2 begin with
I know that ...
Yet something ...
to mirror the I passed of S1
Regarding 'looming' (L13) it doesn't really seem like the opposite of 'crumbling' (L26)
RG
Last edited by Richard G; 05-03-2025 at 08:52 AM.
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