Hello, Richard,
This is a well-realized narrative—confidently paced, rich with detail, and carrying real emotional weight. There’s a clarity of voice and a lived-in authenticity that make it compelling from start to finish.
Just a couple of minor notes:
- p.i. should have a second period (p.i.) to follow standard abbreviation conventions.
- The capitalization of Summer initially threw me—I momentarily read it as a person’s name. Since seasons aren’t typically capitalized in standard usage, you might consider lowercasing it unless you're aiming for a metaphorical effect.
- Also, the phrase "when summer outstayed its welcome" gave me pause. Usually, people are more likely to complain about winter dragging on, while summer is often something they wish would linger. You might consider whether winter—or perhaps another metaphor—would better suit the tone of that moment.
Otherwise, very well done, Richard!
Cheers,
...Alex