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Unread 05-08-2025, 08:09 PM
Hilary Biehl Hilary Biehl is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2024
Location: New Mexico
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Hi Chelsea,

I enjoyed this. Here are my thoughts, in no particular order –

I’m curious about the mixing of knitting and crochet (and related metaphors) in this poem. They are different crafts, though some do both, of course – but I wonder if it wouldn’t help the poem to pick just one, even if the grandmother is one of those multitalented individuals. I think it would hold the poem together better and avoid giving the impression that the N doesn’t know (or doesn’t care) which craft her grandmother actually practiced. I didn't mind the bringing in of other skills, though (eg recipes, gardening) as those ones seem sufficiently distinct.

I like the lace curtain/wall metaphor. Lace is another handicraft traditionally practiced by women, and seems a fitting comparison to this possible aspect of the postpartum body.

I think there’s probably a better, less generic title out there.

In the second stanza, the movement from L4 to L5 feels abrupt and disjointed to me. I know the weaving together of different strands is intentional, and it mostly worked for me, just not in that particular place.

In general I think your handling of the form is skillful, but I also wonder what might happen to the poem in a different form. The reason I’m thinking this is that the poem itself – its argument, its spirit if you will – is a tapestry of separate though related threads; but the form you have chosen breaks it into two distinct chunks, which to me feels at odds with the spirit of the poem. Just a thought.
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