[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Chelsea—

You have given your N a cheerful but rather scattered personality. S1L1 and S2L1-4 and 9 discuss the changes in a woman’s body as a result of pregnancy, but the rest of the poem deals with the N not having been given her grandmother’s knowledge of knitting and crocheting (S1L2-9 and S2L7-8), gardening (S1L7-8), and cooking (S2L5-6). The only connection I can see is that the N wishes her grandmother (and mother?) had shared their knowledge with her about all these topics. The poem thus seems to be about how women are expected to discover important knowledge and develop useful skills without the help of their female ancestors. Yves suggests that the discontinuity of the N’s discourse might be meant to imitate the incompleteness of the feminine lore that the N wishes had been passed on to her more completely. Perhaps he’s onto something.

In S1 it seems that that the grandmother has, if fact, passed away, although the pastor might insist that her spirit lives on. It is difficult to imagine how the departed grandmother might “call . . .back” the N (without, maybe, a Ouija board). I would advise dropping the exclamation point in S1L5. It seems like a rim shot for a joke, but the grandmother’s death doesn’t seem like a punch line.

I as also not sure how to interpret “muscle-up her grit.” In S2L9. The “muscle” suggests the reference to diastasis recti, but the “grit” suggests cooking, or maybe just determination. If Yves is right, then perhaps the lack of clarity here is deliberate.

I usually expect Spenserian stanzas to tip their hats in some way to The Faerie Queene or Keats’s “The Eve of St. Agnes.” I expect elements of fantasy and allegory or a strong moral message. Could you connect the form to the content more strikingly?

I like the clever use of rhyme, although S1L8-9 might be tightened up a bit. They use assonance rather than rhyme.

This is a very impressive first post. You show confidence and a distinctive style. I enjoyed it and will look forward to seeing your poem evolve.

Glenn