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Unread 05-10-2025, 06:44 PM
Alex Pepple Alex Pepple is offline
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Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: San Jose, CA
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Hello, Chelsea,

Congratulations on this landmark event of your first post at Eratosphere! It's a strong entry and shows you off as a talented poet.

Your Spenserian stanzas are skillfully realized technically. The first stanza weaves together the themes of crochet, knitting, mortality, and missed opportunities for learning quite effectively.

I notice an intentional shift in the second stanza, moving from your personal experience to a broader meditation on generational knowledge with the Diastasis Recti image. The "lace curtains" metaphor is powerful, though I wonder if connecting it more explicitly to textile arts might strengthen the cohesion between stanzas.

The movement from textile arts (crochet/knitting) to "mother's recipes" works well as different expressions of the same theme - knowledge passed between generations. I'm curious about your decision to shift from the personal "I" in the first stanza to the more universal "we" and "daughters" in the second. While this broadens the scope effectively, I wonder if maintaining the personal perspective might create an even stronger emotional impact.

Also, note the typo—only on “r” for “harassed.” Good luck with this as you revise, Chelsea!

Cheers,
…Alex
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