[Alessio Boni]

Yves,

Thank you for the clarification.

Although I wouldn't go as far and say that I 'created' a language of my own due to its immense gibberish (as suggested by your comparison with Pantisocracy itself) I can see that the not so minute traces of cheap imitation, mixed with the lack of clarity, is in both of the versions.

Believe me, the last thing I'm trying to do is "impress strangers." The only reason as to why I'm putting effort in trying to 'reform' this poem is because I'm simply keen on trying my wit to work something faulty into something pleasureful to read, not for the sake of anyone else but myself and my passion.

Hilary,

I'm about to post my last attempt of rewriting this poem in regards to you guy's comments, and in regard to some thoughtful changes of my own which I personally believe have my own saying in it, in a more contemporary language, even If I think that the first two versions had some sort of personalism (though archaic and unclear) in them already.

Thank you both.