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Unread 05-18-2025, 06:17 AM
David Callin David Callin is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ellan Vannin
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This is a sad story, Glenn. It arouses the reader's sympathy (although we're conscious we're only getting one side of the story).

I might go against the grain of the other comments by suggesting that it could be shorter. Brutally, I think losing the second and third verses would do the poem some good. I realise that it might not then say everything you want to say. I just wonder whether that would work better.

Cheers

David
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