Hello, James,
I appreciate the evocative spareness of "Particles and Waves." The scientific title creates an interesting framework, though as others have noted, the connection between the title and content merits further development. Perhaps, consider how the current title's duality (the particle-wave duality in physics) could be more deliberately echoed in the poem's imagery of hope and catastrophe.
The lighthouse metaphor in the first stanza effectively establishes both beacon and rescue imagery. However, the phrase "its hand / and longest arm" creates some confusion—is this the lighthouse's beam metaphorically reaching out, or something else entirely? The connection between hand, arm, and lighthouse could be clarified while maintaining your evocative brevity.
In the second stanza, the line "among the most buoyant of / all debris, laid out for God the nature of light" contains powerful concepts but its syntax obscures meaning. Is hope the buoyant debris? Is the debris revealing something about light's nature? The phrase "laid out for God" is particularly ambiguous—it could suggest offering evidence to God, displaying something for divine inspection, or even teaching God something (which seems unlikely to be your intention).
What works beautifully is the progression from "vessel of prayers" being "breached" to the "rise and fall / of hope" mirroring wave motion. This creates a subtle interplay between physical and metaphysical that honors your title's scientific allusion.
Consider clarifying these key points while preserving the poem's admirable concision and haunting quality. The brevity serves the piece well—it's just a matter of ensuring precision within that economy of language.
Looking forward to seeing where you take this.
Cheers,
…Alex
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