Hello, Susan,
This is a well-crafted triolet that thoughtfully explores the paradox of poetic success. The form is handled with skill, particularly in how you've varied the repetitions slightly to create nuance.
A few observations:
- The metaphor of "writing your name in water" (echoing Keats's epitaph) works well with the dissolving imagery
- I'm not entirely convinced "broaden" is the strongest choice in "you broaden by dissolving in the flow" - perhaps "deepen" or "expand" might better capture the transformative nature of this dissolution?
- The planting seedlings in snow creates an effective image of persistence against impossibility.
- In the final repetition, the colon and comma in "you know: you're nobody, writing" might be reconsidered for flow - perhaps simply "you know you're nobody writing your name in water" would allow the closing line to achieve its full resonance.
The meditation on poetic anonymity balanced against the drive to create despite "Time's daughter" (Oblivion) shows philosophical depth.
I hope these thoughts are helpful, Susan!
Cheers,
...Alex