[David Callin]

First, thanks for liking it! Then to particulars ...

Originally Posted by Jim Moonan

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I'm trying to reconcile the fact that the N is driving in a car yet able to observe the various behaviors of this winged creature.

Darn it, Jim. I think I did not sufficiently set my scene. I assumed it was obvious that we had been stopped by the bird, alighting before us, but now I see it isn't. I'll have to tackle that, somehow - without being too wordy about it. Unless I can get everyone to buy into the scene anyway, as you have.

Or maybe I can do something with the title ... "Stopping by birds on a Shakey evening"? Or "Stopped by a bird on a balmy evening"?

I genuinely wasn't sure what it was, Joe. Thinking about it now, it might have been a heron. They're often seen near that road. And thanks for spotting the repetition of "mighty wings" - I'd missed that too.

I'm wondering about hush and mute, James, so that could be a helpful suggestion.

Thanks very much, Hilary. I am flummoxed by those mighty wings at the moment.

And thank you, Max. I need to convey the fact that the car was stopped by this manifestation. Somehow.

Thanks Matt. Again, it's the car : bird position that's the problem. I kind of thought that the fact the car had stopped must be obvious, but clearly it isn't.

Thanks for the detailed notes, Trevor. I'll see what I can do with them - but "tights" can be theatrical, I think? And I spy some rhyming in S2. And so does Hilary. (Thanks, Hilary.)

Anyway, I've got much to think about here. Cheers all.

David