Hi Alex,
No problem. You're welcome. I think those changes work better. Re "whet", I guess the main issue I have is that you are using it like an adjective, whereas I think of it as a verb, so your use of it feels too forced. If it was something along the lines of "desire to whet", it would work both ways for me, alluding to "wet" whilst also keeping the thread of "whet" without jarring too much because of the adjective/verb issue.
Anyway, nice work, and best of luck with revising it.
Trev
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