Some of the images are nice enough, but there's nothing in it to prefer over straight prose. Making the lines roughly the same number of centemeters in length and ending most on strong words hardly helps.
You can't dance to it. What more is there to say?
A very few poets I have read work magic and produce poems that are in technically free verse, but which sing as well as almost any. The late Dick Barnes was one such poet. I will post a couple of examples of his work after others have had a chance to react to this one.
G/W
[This message has been edited by Golias (edited March 04, 2004).]
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