I agree Eaf that there are specfic images that I like in this piece -the 'please please' voice of the engine and the fabric comparisons- but it does jump around looking for other comparisons that diminish the overall effect for me. It could have been shorter -a combo of V2 & 3 perhaps -we get it already.
In terms of presentation, the repetition of the first line and the 'prosey' way it travels seem quite effective to me -perhaps a little loosening up of the lines would help more.
Can't help but wonder if the circling plane is a reference to wife Jane Kenyon's plane in "Happiness" -her happy plane lands, his sad one cannot.
Thanks for posting this. Dee
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