Not Me
There’s a child in my house
that I have never seen.
He moved in uninvited
and never consoled me.
He leaves crumbs upon the counter,
dirty dishes in the sink,
laundry on the bathroom floor,
empty milk gallons from which to drink,
and when I asked, "Who did this?",
all replied quite certainly,
“I don’t know Mom, I didn’t do it,
really Mom...Not Me."
This child is so sneaky,
he destroys almost everything,
he broke my antique table
and stole my wedding ring.
He cut off the dog’s whiskers
spilt mustard on the rug,
and when I asked, "Who did this!",
my children only shrugged.
He leaves the lights on in every room,
lets water drip, drip, drip,
throws garbage right next to the can,
and leaves toys around to trip.
So I bought him a Christmas present,
for which he never showed to claim.
I wrapped it with a big red bow,
and on the tag I wrote his name.
My children asked, "Oh, who’s that for?"
I held the package up with glee.
"Oh, this Playstation game?
....I bought it for Not Me."
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