Good show, everyone! It's taken me this long to "come up" with something myself but here goes.
THE CRUDDY SUPERMARKET
O Pioneer! Hellish emporium! --
where carts jostle in narrow aisles
made narrower by tipping carton-cliffs,
where half the stock is out of reach
and the milk sours
and the cheeses mold.
Sharp Kleenex boxes, falling from the heights,
have cut my face
and greasy spills have mucked my favorite shoes.
You have shortchanged me!
Your discourteous chattering checkers have deranged me!
The smell of catbox reeking from below
is the true essence of your fell concern.
I denounce you and I condemn you!
May your suppliers go on strike and your bank withhold credit.
May vandals break your windows and shoplifters plunder your shelves.
May your best customers desert you,
your staff stiff you,
and every bill in your circa 1950 registers turn counterfeit.
And may your three neglected cats arch their backs one morning,
pad up from the cellar,
hiss at the stock boys putting price stickers on top of expiration dates,
yowl like banshees,
and spray odiferous urine on your butcher's socks.
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