I am going to take the challenge in a different direction, not that I am not a fan of scatlogical subjects. (Some of my favorite shit.) It strikes me that the things we, or at any rate I, have the greatest difficulty writing poems about are those most serious events in life about which so much has been written, and so much has become cliche that we have simply, most of the time, to accept triteness, knowing that it's the thought that counts. The worst are the happy occasions, for there is no convenient profundity in them, though there is plenty available in unhappy ones, often enough. So we write about death with relish, for example. (Quite a pickle I've put myself in.) One such subject is the serious contemplation of marriage. I can only offer a little epigrammatic advice that sums a tortuous life's wisdom, if it can be called that. I do at least believe what I am saying in this poem. That would be the challenge: write a poem about marriage in which one expresses what one finally, truly thinks about some aspect of it--not some transient feeling about it, but lasting sentiments, borne of trial and error after error after error, and a good deal of observation of the miseries of others. Call me a sexist if you must, but I further dare anyone to write a poem expressing the exact opposite sentiments.
A Warning to Bachelors
The old maids care the most about the wedding.
Wise women care the most about the bedding.
The maiden cares the most--Ah! Can you guess?
Too true: she cares the most about the dress.
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