Jim Hayes wrote a funny sonnet which he posted on "Deep End" in the voice of Mrs. Shakespeare writing to Cosmopolitan to complain that her husband was no good in bed. I wrote this response from Cosmo:
COSMO RESPONDS
I pity you your problems with the Bard.
There's something in the water found in Avon
That tends to keep the men from getting hard
No matter how their horny women rave on,
And Shakespeare drinks his water all day long
While jotting famous verses with his quill,
So all he can provide you with is song
Though you would far prefer his iron Will.
But harken now to what I am advising:
Swipe his water glass and give him stout.
Then, like to the lark at break of day arising,
His will will will you pleasure till you shout,
"Oh shake your spear at me, my darling mate,
Until you're sure I've passed through heaven's gate."
|