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Unread 09-19-2004, 09:42 AM
Tom Jardine Tom Jardine is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: San Antonio
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Crit by anonymous of:

To A Creased Snapshot of Us

Of you and I,
photography
will always lie.
The pictures try
but fail to see
how you and I

would smile to cry.
But misery
will always lie,
and won’t supply
the history
of you and I:

my hand, your thigh,
the bed where we
will always lie,
snapped only by
my memory
of you. And I
will always lie.

This is a very skilful dimetric poem. The ideas are deftly presented
with with perfect aim.

I like the economy of words which reveal so much in stanza 2.

The end is positively brilliant, especially the last “and I, will always lie." Elegant word play.
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