Anonymous Crit:
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"Following Her"
Couldn't quite figure out what was going on here. The name "Zoe" doesn't carry any special significance for me. I wondered at first if this is chronicling the slow descent into mental illness and death after
a loved one has passed away, then wondered if it was an egg fertilized after traveling down a fallopian tube. The latter seems way over the top. Zoe as a play on "zygote"? Flagellents appears misspelled.
Regardless, it's a fairly horrific picture, but in the end leaves me cold because I can't really identify with what's taking place.
Liked "mazy momentum".
Kind of interesting that all of the lines are end-stopped except for one--this had a sort of slowing effect on the piece. Good for the end, but in the beginning I'm wondering if some sort of enjambment would help
things move along a bit quicker and mirror the action at the beginning. The lack of stanza breaks worked fine, though the transition from "swift around the turns" to "slower now, much slower" was a bit sudden and
could have been handled better.
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