I noticed when reading yours, Anne, that the first and last stanzas were the ones that stayed in my mind with the two people on the hill in the first stanza and the biking near the waterfalls in the last one while the narrator goes from and to work. Nice images.
Maybe the sestina form can be salvaged by expanding on Roger's invention of the "curtal sestina" of 6 lines, each ending in a different word, with the final 3 lines having the original sestina pattern.
Call it the "expanded curtal sestina" form?
And if the end words just happen to rhyme, call it a "rhymed expanded curtal sestina".
[Edited to provide an example of a rhymed expanded curtal sestina.]
Wine and Truth
There's wine enough to help the world look right.
Our flesh though proves the worms will get their way,
But we ignore that now since we can say
We love the beauty of the stars tonight,
Though when we reach for wisdom in our books,
The pages crumble while the demon looks.
Perhaps we are not right to go this way,
Since some say we are lost in this dark night
Though ancient books still hint some angel looks.
[This message has been edited by Frank Hubeny (edited May 24, 2008).]
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