I think my reaction is somewhat similar to Rhina's. This is a perfectly competent - more than competent - poem, but ultimately unexceptional because it is all on one level. I prefer more complexity, another layer of meaning, more twists to poems to make them truly successful.
If the poem essentially works on one level, then the language has to be magnificent in a manner which underlines the premise of the poem - and the language becomes a second level (I think of some of Tim's spare gems). The language here doesn't do that - you don't look up and say, "Wow!" - and that makes it a good poem, but not an outstanding poem. (Excuse the wine catalog language.)
Michael Cantor
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