I was interested to see the mentions of Tim Steele in this thread because, when I read Bruce's poem, I too was immediately reminded of Steele's poems. The quiet, meditative tone, the unostentacious precision and care of the language, and the love of the real, physical world (and of the one to whom the poem is addressed) that come through here are all reminiscent of his work.
I agree with those who have noted that the couplet seems flat in comparison with the rest. Reading the poem again, I find myself wondering if it wants to be a longer poem in quatrains rather than a sonnet. Perhaps the poem needs more space to develop the significance of the opening scene and the relationship between the lovers. Just a thought. The first twelve lines seem about perfect as they are.
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