I missed this one when it was originally posted. I particularly like the way it opens out in the last stanza in an unexpected but perfectly appropriate way. Like Rhina, I flinched a bit at the rather maudlin tone of stanza four. I had missed the misplaced modifier on the first read, but once you know it is there, it is distracting. Although one can certainly say
We kids stood stricken dumb.
it occurred to me that a pause might work to break up the rhythm and add additional meanings:
We kids stood stricken, dumb.
The visual and aural details are shocking and effective.
Susan
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