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Unread 12-02-2004, 11:38 AM
wendy v wendy v is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Western Colorado
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I really like this one, too, and am not troubled by the focus on the 'elder' child, in fact, think the poem sort've hinges on it. Being the oldest, it's possible s/he feels even more responsible/weighted than the child on the bike, but there's also the raised consciousness at the close which signals a kind of 'aloneness' or wisdom in his understandings/recognitions/fears that the younger children may not share.

I wouldn't change the opening two lines of S4 - I think it's the 'happy home' that's to blame for the Maudlin Charge in that stanza. The ending is excellent.

The tone of voice here very much reminds me of Countee Cullen's little poem, Baltimore.

wendy



[This message has been edited by wendy v (edited December 02, 2004).]
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