Wow, powerful simplicity in that last line. The hyperbole of "Shakespeare" perfectly illustrates the narrator's honest and unapologetic selfishness, which the reader can't help but share: "Yeah, I'd make the same bargain for my friend, too."
All those hard c's in the octet really build the suspense of whether or not the tumor was cancerous, don't they?
cantaloupe
scrape
scraps
cancer
scared
oncologist
noncancerous--whew!
Even the x of "sixteen" and "next" play into that alliteration a bit.
The "legless...relief" after "we rode the waves of helplessness and grief" is just right! It takes a while to find one's land legs again, and the liquid l's are the perfect antidote to the harsh c alliteration we've endured in the previous lines.
Minor, minor nit: I read the gerundive of the first two lines as sort of a Latinate ablative absolute, but I'm not sure the English grammar supports that 100%. But who cares? Lovely work.
Julie Stoner
[This message has been edited by Julie Stoner (edited November 30, 2004).]
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