Henry,
as a fellow native of this country I applaud this poem. It is so true to the spirit of place. And all the touches of local colour are just right.
One of the fascinating aspects of the posts above is the wide range of reactions to the meter. On one hand we have the view that the meter is too severe on the content, wrenching it into and out of place, and on the other, that the meter is so vague as to approximate free verse. I would like to hear from anyone else on the subject of this apparent range of reactions to the meter.
I do agree that the crowded line mentioned is crowded, but I would have thought it was crowded for a purpose, since it was describing a tumble of mixed goodies. But maybe there is a more subtle way to get that effect.
I must say that none of the rhymes bothered me (maybe because of my shared Ozzieness), and I don't mind a bit of rhyme lee-way in something so lightish and jaunty as this.
In many ways I think this piece is a fair dinkum rip-snorter.
G'donyamate!
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Mark Allinson
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