Henry, you are not breaking any etiquette, and in fact I should be very disappointed if each author doesn't respond to Dick. I've looked carefully at the distinction between the first eight lines and the rest. From 9 on, you get a little more sing-songy, a flaw I don't hear in the first 95 lines of your Odyssey. There are mesmerizing substitutions, halts, and pauses in the first eight. Keep that rhythm in your head. Again, I think the best model for you is Hope's Western Elegies. I'm going to tell Dick about your enormous project, and I am sure he'll be cheering for you.
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