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Unread 07-03-2005, 08:32 PM
grasshopper grasshopper is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Poole,Dorset,U.K.
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Tim,
I'm no expert on hunting, so perhaps I should keep my snout out, but I do have a few nits. The hens and roosters give the impression that the birds are chickens rather than pheasants, I think, and I don't think that's helpful to the poem. Also, my first thought was that the two birds had died from shock, rather than being shot. In case this seems silly, birds are notoriously prone to succumb to shock.
Also, I wondered why you would admire 'untilled' fields, which sounds like neglect. Presumably they are lying fallow, so a good land-husbandry, but I wonder if another adjective might make that clearer?
Apart from those small questions, it's an very accomplished and atmospheric sonnet.

Regards, Maz
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