Thread: Open Mic
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  #57  
Unread 05-06-2004, 03:21 AM
Renate Renate is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 873
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As far as I can remember these are the first haiku I've attempted writing. In the first one I wonder if the
words "ignite" and "shower" are appropriate to the form,
or is this case of "overburdening imagery"?


Red blooms ignite
the Bottle Brush tree—a shower
of Rainbow Lorikeets.

The Autumn school-term
begins—four hundred
children chattering.

thank you,
Renate
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