Hello, Lee, and many thanks for these interesting threads.
Whatever one’s view of haiku and other oriental forms in English, I’m sure wrestling with their demands can be a useful exercise in economy of effect, at the least. In the same way, I think, fiction writers can benefit from the exercise of attempting ultra-short stories even if they don't care for microfiction as a form.
Last frangipanis,
tyre-bruised, mingle their fragrance
with army diesel fumes
I can’t resist it: do you think I’m OK putting in “my two scents” in lieu of two explicit images?
I had a “The” at the beginning, but — Tontoism or not — I think I prefer it without. Perhaps it’s the echo of “last orders” and “last rites”. In my first shy I had frangipanis:/tyre-bruised, mingling; the “cut” was probably better, but the flow seems more natural in the above.
And Lo, Blue Ridge is an absolute gem!
[This message has been edited by Henry Quince (edited May 06, 2004).]
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