Renate—
I think each version of you haiku has its virtues. I guess overall, I like the second better, though I am not certain the images are in the best order.
Yes, reading can be more interesting than writing—and a whole lot less frustrating! I might go as far as to suggest that if one does not take pleasure in reading haiku, it is unlikely one will be able to write worthwhile poems of this sort.
Lee
|