I was really wowed by this poem when I first read it (and still am)-- such an open, honest and frank perspective, and so well executed. I confess that all the opinions expressed here have forced me to look more closely at certain words and lines to explain why I came to a different conclusion about what I think the poem implies.
I never really took the speaker seriously in her musings about her lover being gay...I just took them as musings and speculation to explain his behavior in bed. Does the behavior result from his being gay? from him having too many previously talk-happy lovers? is he just uncommunicative? a guy who needs to be in control (when he keeps flipping her over, doing it "his" way)? She's looking for some way to explain a consistent pattern of his sexual behavior that she doesn't like. But...I actually find that this reveals as much about the speaker as it does about him. She seems to give him all the control, or allow him to take it, and she never questions him about it or voices her objectiions.
Finale
How you'd begin would never be the same;
I notice he's always initiating sex...not her, which tells me she's waiting for him and giving him control rather than taking it.
at times you'd even face me for a while.
But always, in that drive before you came,
you'd flip me over, finish doggy-style.
She seems unhappy with this behavior -- yet she accepts it for whatever reason and doesn't question it, object to it, or ask for something different.
Another funny thing: you'd never try
to steal a peek at me when I undressed.
I wondered if you'd rather have a guy,
if that was why you covered up my breasts.
Or maybe I was wrong, and you were straight,
but ex or mama used to yak, yak, yak;
you'd shove my mouth into the pillowcase
to face an uncommunicative back.
All these questions she has, and speculation, yet there's no evidence she ever questioned him about any of it. Rather than confronting him or questioning him, she leaves the relationship (that's not stated, though...maybe he left, but if he's getting it his way all the time, why would he?)
I haven't met her yet, your newest friend,
and yet I'd bet my butt about the end.
Is she justifying her own uncommunicative nature here and blaming the end of the relationship on him? If he behaved with HER this way, she assumes he would behave with all women this way. I thought she was in a bit of denial about how her own choices impacted the relationship. To me, "uncommunicative" cuts both ways in this: he didn't seek out her preferences, and she didn't voice her concerns. I'm not sure the author is really making a deep statement here, however...but I enjoyed the humor and thinking about the larger issue of sexual communication.
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