I'm not too big a fan of this one. Yes, it's clever in its way, well-phrased in spots - but under so much self-imposed duress, no wonder that it can't quite squeeze its thoughts into the form. The couplet feels tacked on. The IP wobbles every couple feet. I don't care for the slant rhyme in S1. And in L8, "relief" looks like a cheat.
The title makes no sense - is N a "rake"? Oy vey. Not only is that pun a groaner, but it makes light, I think, of what's at stake for N, who comes off as a whiny loner.
Form is its biggest strength, and biggest fault.
One man's opinion!
Take with the usual salt.
[This message has been edited by John Hutchcraft (edited May 05, 2008).]
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