[Lee Gurga]

Originally posted by Stephen Collington:
Hi Stuart, Lee,

Stuart, seeing your name up above reminded me of something you said on our Warm-Up thread that I thought was interesting, and that I think might make a useful question for Lee to address with us:

Now, I know you say "in the best possible way," and I agree that that is sometimes the result. But as a personal observation, I often find that haiku suffer from being too much like annotations, or even definitions in a dictionary. So, to use a deliberately bad made-up example,

autumn evening
cool wind blows in from the west
as sun is setting

You don't say!

This is one of the traps that beginner haikuists often seem to fall into--and sometimes, not-so-beginners too. Lee's been giving us some very insightful advice on "sparking distances" today . . . this may come under the the general heading too, I suppose. Anyway, Lee, if you've got a moment, it seems an interesting question. Any thoughts?

Steve C.

p.s. (Editing back.) Look Lee, you've got a star now!

p.p.s. (Editing back again.) Just realized how funny my salutation at the top of the post must look! Now all we need is a Jackson.

Steve, It sounds like what you are referring to is what we often call "nature notes." Though haiku often begin as journal entries, a journal entry generally do not make a haiku (sic). Something must be added if it isn't already there: significance. As you point out, without significance we have a "so what?" haiku.

p.p.s. Charge!