Quote:
Originally posted by Martin Elster:
Greetings, Lee.
Below are the 9 haiku I posted in the open mike, plus one new one.
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And greetings, Martin! Some thoughts on your poems . . .
Crickets near corn field:
Is this grand recital for
The ears of the corn?
A praying mantis
Squashed dead against the doorjamb —
Preyed on by the door.
One tiny cricket
Stridulates in the bedroom.
My dog sleeps; I don’t.
A green grasshopper
Clings to the bedroom lampshade;
The window's open.
Dog days of summer;
Fruit flies fly around
In the refrigerator.
The dog is scratching;
A wee flea on his hind leg
Is getting seasick.
Sleep … Walk dog … Eat … Walk
dog … Sleep … Walk dog … Eat … Walk dog …
Sleepwalk … Eat dog … Oops!
What’s Fido feeling
Riding in the fast auto,
Autumn flying past?
In a shop window,
A dog sees his reflection—
Both of them growling.
Naked clothes hangers
Lined up like xylophone bars;
Sunbeams play their wood
One of the most important characeristics of haiku is its openendedness or element of "incompleteness." This incompleteness permits the reader to experience the poem from the inside rather than the outside. As I look at these haiku, Martin, they all, with the exception of the two with rhetorical questions, are end stopped, thus depriving the reader of opportunity to become a co-creator of the experience. Lee