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Unread 10-20-2008, 04:27 PM
Chiago Mapocho Chiago Mapocho is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 230
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Hi Lee, would you consider some of these? Thanks again for your comments and helpful hints. Before this, I hadn't written even one haiku--now, with the help from your links and your knowledge, I feel I understand it (at least partially). It's been a fun couple of a days.

december field
bare trees
framing moon

past the garden gate
into the wheat
the wind with a horse

june lake rising
hook taking with it
some fish constellations


an ox-drawn plow
face marmelade jars
in the flowerbed

august moon
rabbits in the open
mink storm

autumn storm
coat scalloping
with wind

far stars
plum trees the giraff's
neck stretches


twilight's edging
tire swing overflows
with jar flies and ladybugs


Mary,

I rather like your second haiku. The tenderness makes it for me. If I'm interpretting it right, the kiss for you is both a kiss on the lips, and the kiss of eyes *on* air. And, the darkness that comes mirror the darkness when lips meet lips. This one strikes me as more than what it seems on first sight.

close your eyes
this is my kiss
for you




[This message has been edited by Chiago Mapocho (edited October 20, 2008).]
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