Katy,
There was a good discussion of "Lineation in Free Verse" on "The Discerning Eye" last year which I think you would find interesting. As you can imagine, this subject comes up from time to time, and, while conclusions are rarely agreed on, there are a range of opinions between "line breaks don't matter at all" and "line-breaks are the very heart of free verse." It is an aesthetic judgemnt, in the end, something one "feels" rather than decides analytically, I believe, though there are considerations like anticipation, extension, arrival; lines of free verse can be "weighted" forwards or backwards according to stresses, and, like so much else in verse, line-breaks cannot really be dealt with in isolation. It is not only a matter of "what word should I break on" but "is that word even in the line yet?" How many clever or exciting line-breaks can a poem take.? Anyway, have a look. I'm afraid I cannot nominate anyone as "Master of the line-break"
By all means, continue the discussion here, or on "The Discerning Eye" if you wish - you can resurrect the thread referred to if you have further queries or suggestions, by posting to it.
http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtm...ML/000181.html
Regards,
Oliver