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Unread 06-05-2005, 11:41 AM
Elle Bruno Elle Bruno is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: SoCal USA
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Yes, it's a topic that's been covered before but probably deserves to be tackled again!

For me, who writes only in free verse, I generally use an organic approach to looking at line breaks. That is,I pay attention to whether the breaks help the poem realize its overall goals, whether they add to the general feel of a poem, if they place tension in areas that call for it. Conversely, I also try to see if the breaks are undermining the poem in some way.

Although the following poem does not have remarkable line breaks, it does have ones that seem, for this reader, to successfully uphold the meaning and mood of the piece.

Poem For Maya
(Carolyn Forche)

Dipping our bread in oil tins
we talked of morning peeling
open our rooms to a moment
of almonds, olives and wind
when we did not yet know what we were.
The days in Mallorca were alike:
footprints down goat-paths
from the beds we had left,
at night the stars locked to darkness.
At that time we were learning
to dance, take our clothes
in our fingers and open
ourselves to their hands.
The veranera was with us.
For a month the almond trees bloomed,
their droppings the delicate silks
we removed when each time a touch
took us closer to the window where
we whispered yes, there on the intricate
balconies of breath, overlooking
the rest of our lives.


There is a satisfying hesitancy and breathlessness to the breaks (clearly felt in 'learning/to dance' and 'open/ourselves') that matches the idea of the poem -the momentary pause between youth and adulthood.
she also uses line breaks where some punctuation might be suggested:
Dipping our bread in oil tins
we talked of morning peeling

and,
their droppings the delicate silks
we removed when each time a touch

The slight pause gives the reader time to perceive the image, then follow through into the next connected thought.

The reader also has a moment to perceive the feel of the following:
of almonds, olives and wind
before being tossed into the open-ended
when we did not yet know what we were.

In the penultimate line, the word 'overlooking' also literally 'overlooks' the next line and the girls' lives.
All in all, it is an effective poem, made more effective by good use of linebreaks.

For me, line break advice is much like the advice given to doctors:
First, do no harm.

Looking forward to more of this discussion. Dee
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