Frank, that is beautiful. Seldom have I read worse. Your old nag will give Bob & Co. a run for their money. I can tell you have put a lot of work into your poem.
I just write it down as it comes to me (my angel muse, I guess) and I don't want to change a single pure word of my inspiration. My themes are less sophisticated, but they do express my deep thoughts.
Thoughts on the Sad Passage of Time
Oft fly my thoughts to that sweet Time
When I was but a child
To Mother dear and Father kind
Our humble cottage mild.
These modern Times with strife and pain
Have seldom silver linings shown.
My tears oft flow like autumn rain
For joyous days now flown.
(I thought that was rather clever in S2L3-4 to use both "flow" and "flown", echoing also as you probably immediately noted, the "fly" of S1L1 and alluding to the old proverb, "Doesn't time fly!"
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