Thread: In Vino Veritas
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Unread 07-19-2019, 06:12 AM
John Isbell John Isbell is online now
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 4,666

Hi Jim,

I do enjoy the dancing rhythms you generate. The story's pretty acid, enough so that I'd hope the gathering is unusual, if not unlikely. Rhymes do their work as well, though I'm not sure you can use ago where I'd expect before, losing the rhyme. At the close, you have to to, and a missing final period (or full stop). Typos.


Oh - the title may be apt, but to my ear, the phrase is well-worn enough to have lost definition and character. I'd look for alternatives.
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