I fancy this elegant piece a good deal. The imagery proved compelling from the first. ‘Liquid-slate,’ for instance, is fresh and apt. At first blush, I experienced no moment of reservation, except for over the end-rhyme of ‘prime.’ What would be meant by the prime of shadows was not at once obvious to me in any way, at least in any way not forced; on the contrary, it made me struggle to think how that particular word-choice could be otherwise than out of expedience for the rhyme or rhyme driven. Not so the rest. The concluding metaphor is resonant, latent with possible connotations and charged with attendant images. In short, an ending that rather exceeds than disappoints expectations with its final essay upon the poem’s central conceit! All I have so far. Much appreciated.
Last edited by Erik Olson; 08-13-2019 at 04:22 PM.