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Unread 08-15-2003, 10:22 PM
diprinzio diprinzio is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: San Jose, Ca.
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You should workshop that one, Zita, it's promising, though I think it needs some major overhauling. I can't find a step by step logic to the anthropomorphisms and the conclusion. "Plea" seems contradictory with "overthrow". "Burgled" seems out of place. With "chapel" and "aswoon" "desire" and plea" you could turn it into some sort of seduction, rape thing. "soil could not impugn" though I can make it make sense---it's weird. I hope you haven't already workshopped this.

Nighty nite,
Greg

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