So I'm not mad - they are illogical and the lack of logic is part of your process. I am more than happy with that.
You are not telling me that that's a diddy guitar no bigger than a coffee-can or that the mighty Remington is as fat as a Fender. Just that these are your things and I can take them or leave them.
I'll take them, please, just as they are. See me smiling like the little black-and-white Rick-Jesus down there on the left, curled in the curve of the hookah.