[Brian Allgar]

Down with skool and down with beaks,
Down with little girly sneaks,
Down with Grabber, down with Grimes,
Plotting garstly furtive crimes,
Down with lines they make you do,
Down with filthy Latin too.
Down with every stupid game,
“Good for caracter!” they claim.
Down I sa with rotten sport –
Nasty, brutish, never short.

Foopball is the worst of all;
Grown men chase a silly ball.
“Oh, I love to watch them play”,
Fotherington-tomas sa.
Molesworth 2 hav caught the bug,
Cheering from his ugly mug.
Even Peason join the throng
Hoping for the victory song.

All hav caught, I see with sadness,
This contaijus world-cup madness.
(I won’t watch it - did I menshun? -
Once again I’m in detenshun.)