Sorry, all, for the delay in responding.
Andrew, I am glad you enjoyed this chapter. Yes, I, too, wish there were some better word than “the richies” but “the wealthy” doesn’t fit the idiom of twelve-year-old Todd. I’m still looking.
I will also look into expanding the ending. Perhaps adding a few exclamations expressing what Todd would tell his friends. Thank you.
Matt, I am also looking for something better than “like dinner plates.” I think the default color of dinner plates is white—and I want to specify that the eyes are both very large and white (they turn that color when the squid dies).
I understand that “a couple bluefish” is not grammatical. It’s very common to drop the “of” in America: “Grab a couple beers on your way back in!”
Matt and Jim H., I do see the “reel” as the whole device near the base of the rod. Since there is a separate “spool” inside it (as Jim points out) there could be “revving in the reel.”
John, thank you. That the simile is in folktales makes me maybe want to keep it. Hmn.
Thank you, Nemo. I had a lot of fun with Todd’s voice in this piece.
Thank you, Jim M. I think I need those “Todds” just to make sure there is no ambiguity with the father (also a “he”).
Allen, thank you for enjoying this.
Last edited by Aaron Poochigian; 07-20-2019 at 04:01 PM.