[Douglas G. Brown]

Relax, my boy, and drain another pint;
I used to be a bright - eyed chap like you;
Who wants to cash out sober in the night?

Remember, Kipling said the best get tight;
I've steeped my liver in a sea of brew.
Relax, my boy, and drain another pint.

My doctor says my kidneys are a fright,
My arteries are loaded up with goo;
Who wants to cash out sober in the night?

My heart is heavy, but my verse is light;
I'm old, but I have learned a thing or two.
Relax, my boy, and drain another pint.

I'll babble on like this 'til morning's light;
Old topers talk in circles, it is true.
Relax, my boy, and drain another pint.
Who wants to cash out sober in the night?