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Unread 08-16-2019, 08:25 AM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
Posts: 8,106
Default Rilke, The Elopement

The Elopement

Often, as a child, she’d run
from her serving women to see the night
and the wind outside, as they began,
(they are so different from inside),

but surely no stormy night had yet
so ripped the enormous park to bits
as now her conscience shredded it,

when he took her from the silken ladder
and carried her further, further, further . . .

until the carriage was all there was.

She smelled it, the dark carriage, as
pursuit and danger loomed around—
tense, restrained.
She found the coach was lined with cold,
and the dark, cold thing was in her, too.
She crept inside her mantle’s hood,
touched her hair, as though it were to stay,
and, strangely, heard a stranger say:
I’mherewithyou.

Revisions:
S5L1 "dark" for "black"
S5L5 was "and the black and cold were in her, too."
S5L6 added comma after "hood" and substituted "crept" for "crouched"
S5L9 added quotation marks, then changed them to italics.


Die Entführung

Oft war sie als Kind ihren Dienerinnen
entwichen, um die Nacht und den Wind
(weil sie drinnen so anders sind)
draußen zu sehn an ihrem Beginnen;

doch keine Sturmnacht hatte gewiss
den riesigen Park so in Stücke gerissen,
wie ihn jetzt ihr Gewissen zerriss,

da er sie nahm von der seidenen Leiter
und sie weitertrug, weiter, weiter...:

bis der Wagen alles war.

Und sie roch ihn, den schwarzen Wagen,
um den verhalten das Jagen stand
und die Gefahr.
Und sie fand ihn mit Kaltem ausgeschlagen;
und das Schwarze und Kalte war auch in ihr.
Sie kroch in ihren Mantelkragen
und befühlte ihr Haar, als bliebe es hier,
und hörte fremd einen Fremden sagen:
Ichbinbeidir.


Literal translation:
The Elopement

Often as a child she would escape
from her serving women to the night and the wind
(because they are so different inside)
to see them outdoors at their beginnings;

but certainly no stormy night had
so ripped the enormous park into bits
as her conscience now tore it apart,

when he took her from the silk ladder
and carried her away, further, further . . .

until the carriage was all there was.

And she smelled it, the black carriage,
around which, held back, were pursuit
and danger.
And she found it lined with cold,
and the black and cold were also in her.
She crept into her mantle’s collar
and touched her hair, as if it were to remain here,
and heard—strangely—a stranger say:
Iamwithyou.

Last edited by Susan McLean; 08-24-2019 at 08:13 AM.
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